Questions for the reluctant few

I consider myself an outgoing introvert - definitely reserved among a large group of unfamiliar faces, but genuinely engaged & energized when it's one-on-one.

In my spare time, I gravitate towards jigsaw puzzles, reading, coloring, crafts, meditation and yoga. My energy tends to soar after brief periods of solace and silence, my mind woken and brain invigorated. Following this recharge, I've reached the pinnacle of my social self - the Kim who wants to  peel back the inner layers of my colleagues / friends / family members ... strengthen relationships.. form tighter bonds... become BFFs....

Sometime this enthusiasm isn't shared, as I've encountered a sprinkling of withdrawn / quiet / "leave me alone" types during my IT years, And I get it. 

I really do. 

However, as a Scrum Master, I am compelled to build relationships and strengthen bonds, but I'm also sensitive to the fact that this goal may not be reciprocated. Which I find, to be a tragedy, really.

To nudge people into opening up, I've created a  sampling of powerful questions (shamelessly stolen from my own coaches)  - which seems to do the trick. I keep these questions posted on my monitor and return to them when/if conversation stalls.

​Here they are:

Internal to work

• Do you have anything you’d like to talk about today? 
• What motivates you? 
• What’s working on this team? What isn’t? 
• How do you feel about… (<The sprint schedule?> <Our retrospectives?>)
• I’ve been considering… (<the effects of context switching> / <our standup process>) – what suggestions do you have to remedy this? 
• What are you pain points?
• Are you getting what you need? (From the PO, your Manager etc.)
• What can I do to help make your job easier?

​
Outside of the office

• What are your hobbies outside of work? 
• Where are you going on your next vacation? 
• Where are you originally from?
• What does a typical weekend look like for you? 
• What sports do you play or watch?
• What book are you currently reading? 
• How did you get into development? (Or testing? Or Architecture? etc.)
• Would you consider yourself more creative or technical? Tell me more.
• What is your greatest achievement, thus far?
• What keeps you up at night? 

A few tips: 
* Never ask a question you don't feel comfortable answering yourself. 
* Use these questions sparingly! The intent is not to ambush or interrogate our colleagues.
* Consider your audience - if you feel the question may not be taken well, don't ask it! Employ common sense, empathy and respect. 

I hope this helps! Do you have additional questions I can add to my list? Let me know!