This is their meeting...

As with most people, I typically act based on what’s important to me. As an example, at retrospectives I show burndowns, burnups, velocity. I talk with the team about predictability and throughput. I remind them of the importance of collaboration and sprint commitments. Essentially I communicate what I believe is imperative for team success.
 
I’m often met with silence, which I assume means disinterest. The longer I speak, the more frustrated I become because WHY AREN’T THEY INTERESTED IN THIS? IT’S SO IMPORTANT!!!! 
 
Being that my teams are distributed, I’m unable to assess body language - but I can see their pupils glaze over and eyelids flutter. Lately, the retrospectives have been painful and rather uncomfortable. The team is disengaged & quiet, and honestly -- even I don't look forward to them. I realized it’s time for a new approach. 
 
In my quest for continual self-growth, today I stumbled across this quote: "This is their meeting, not mine.” (how strangely coincidental!)
 
This is so obvious. 
And so simple. 
How did I forget? 
 
Pushing my ego to the side, I arrived at a retrospective this morning with one question for the team:  “What do you care about?”.
 
For once, quiet team members spoke up. Eyes shined a little brighter. Developers were eager to answer that question. The answers were varied: 

• Code Quality
• # of defects
• Story estimates > Reality vs. assumptions 
• UX (fine tuning; giving attention to detail)
• Finishing on time
• Planning & Refinement discussions

 
This was astonishing to me. They talked about their true concerns & took ownership of the actions. One person even voicing his anxiety of the roller coaster velocity (!!). We didn’t focus on the sprint per se, but the team identified what was really on their minds. 
 
By flipping my objectives into a true servant/leader mindset, we were able to have a very direct, efficient conversation, resulting in actionable goals - and ultimately team improvement.  (<-- Important to me! )
 
I guess, sometimes we don’t see the forest through the trees.